The Final Month: Day Six

Posted: July 7, 2012 in The Final Month

It’s now past midnight and I’m taking a breather before continuing to empty out the attic and prep for the morning’s yard sale. I’m slouched on the sofa, Sprout’s on the TV, and Gracelyn is asleep on the floor in front of me with her little butt in the air. Uriah’s in the other room on the computer, and I find myself unable to really formulate the thoughts swirling through my mind. Kirk Franklin is playing on my laptop…and it’s really hitting hard that I’m leaving in three in a half weeks.

It’s so hard to describe the way I feel right now, and I know that a lot of my students are confused at my leaving because they hear me telling them how much I love them and love my job…yet still I’m leaving. But at the same time, there are students in my group that I have poured my life into, and they get it. They understand what it’s like to follow Christ, even at the sake of uprooting my family and leaving a comfortable and enjoyable job. After all, it was Jesus who told his followers that they needed to love him with everything- even if it cost them their family. They’re getting a chance to see faith in action, and they’re learning from it.

So I feel bad for my students in that they feel like I’m walking out on them. I hurt for them, because too many of them see me as the father figure that they’re lacking at home, or like the big brother that is looking out for them. I feel excitement and joy at seeing the change in some of my students, and I have no doubt that many of them are being led into fulltime ministry.

There’s a part of me that feels guilty as well. I feel bad for pulling my family away from our church family. Not only do I feel bad on behalf of my wife and kids who are leaving behind some very dear friends, but I also hate that I’m depriving so many people on my church of their friendships with me and my family.

There’s obviously the fear and anxiety that comes with stepping into the unknown, but to be honest God has moved me beyond that. Mostly. What is perhaps strongest right now is the excitement over the coming opportunity to shepherd part of God’s flock in a small town in Virginia. There is humility and awe in the realization that God is allowing me to make an eternal impact in the lives of people- some of which do not yet even know Jesus as their Savior. That God would use me blows my mind.

I could continue with the introspection, but I’ll spare you. Instead, I’ll happily share with you that God has blessed us with more support today! There is a couple in my church who feels led to support my family, and I also received approval from the North American Mission Board. This now puts us at 43%- a considerable jump from yesterday! Please continue to pray for God’s blessings in the area.

I forgot to mention yesterday (you know- amidst my woes over not being blessed) that my dryer was returned, fixed free of charge. Was also blessed today to receive a solid lease template via email so that I can electronically custom fit it for this house. This will save me from the all-nighter I was planning on Sunday night. And concerning the townhome in Virginia, if I can remember to do it in the middle of everything else going on, we’ll be signing the papers and putting them in the mail tomorrow. We’re definitely more comfortable committing to this lease in light of today’s support increase.

In addition to the usual prayer requests, please pray that God will bless our yard sale in the morning. Our goal is to help people out by offering some ridiculously low-priced items, make a little money in the process, and lose a lot of clutter that we won’t need or have room for in Crozet. As the time is fleeting, I plan to pull an all-nighter to get some packing/organizing done. Also pressing this weekend is the lease work, both for this house as well as for Virginia. I’m trying to think of anything else urgent going on, but my brain is drained. My apologies for a post that’s probably odder than most.

 

Be sure to check out this page for our ongoing prayer needs…

 

Go here for all of my posts regarding this final month in Indiana!

 

 

Soli Deo Gloria

 

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